Monday, May 23, 2016

Looking for a direction in Life - Part 1

I've been looking around, doing research. Then strolled through memory lane. During my time, we either choose Arts stream or science stream in Malaysia. I remembered that I wanted to go for Science stream. My results were good enough to go that direction.

However, the reality was there were no more spots available in the classes in my school. We didn't know there would be a shortage of spots in class and didn't have enough time to go and apply for it at another school. In other words, it was simply too late, I couldn't join the science stream. I went on to study literature and didn't do too shabbily.

What I do is wonder what Add Maths looked like, since Maths has always been my strongest subject. I even thought of becoming a Maths professor. I would go to the library to study and when I was done, I'd read Moebius comic books. Below is one of the books.

If you played a game with me that involved calculations, be careful. I normally win (he he). The only one who could beat me was my older sister cause her Maths are strong too.

Why am I talking about this? Because I'm looking for a change in my life. Something that I really want and it may possibly be quite dramatic. Somehow, all the office jobs and sales jobs I've done never gave me much satisfaction. I did all of them to survive. I used to write scripts back in Uni days and normally my work would be chosen for project work. But I have stopped writing scripts for so long. I'm sure that I can write it again, just don't know how quickly I can churn one out. If one is completed, what can be done with it's completion is another story $$$ o_o.

I've been chatting with my friends about this. Since I'm in choir, it's pretty natural that the company I keep are mostly right brained friends and there are about 500 of us. However, you'd be surprised at their answers. They're normally not inclined to pursue singing careers, acting careers or artistic jobs. Among the 700 or so people I know, only 3 pursued writing to publish a book and 3 are (food) bloggers.

Well, when I pursued studies in Perth in my 20s, the desire to be a Chiropractor surfaced. I asked my mother, back then, if it would be alright to pursue that. I needed to look for a second opinion or more. Then I was dissuaded as Scientific courses were less affordable then artistic ones. There was also the issue of my educational background in secondary school where I only had 1 science subject. Alas, I was defeated there and just went for a Bachelor of Arts.

Subsequently, I couldn't find a job as a script-writer, and the small(ish) town that I come from is relatively scarce of jobs in the variety that I would go for. This brought me to Singapore (after a lot of deliberating, praying and fasting) as I knew that this is a fast-paced country, highly competitive and definitely more stressful as compared to working in Perth, WA or Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia.

One can say that I've been putting my dreams on halt or pretty much forgot about it for a good part of my life. The worst part is, if you come from a family where you're the only one holding a degree among your siblings, there are expectations. In case you think I'm harping on this, please know that I'm really trying to reason this out, put it out there, and cause myself to find the direction I should take and then commit to it. How do people know what they should do? Tell me please. I need to know.

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